Taxidermy is not particularly a pleasant practice, but when the taxidermist has no idea what he’s doing it instantly becomes worse. The hilarious twitter account, Crap Taxidermy just posts rubbish taxidermy. This is guaranteed to make you laugh.
And since you’re going to laugh at the worst examples of taxidermy ever, why not have a little read on what this practice is, how it is achieved and why we seem to like it so much (not us specifically, but we as a culture). You all probably remember being little kids and going to the museum or other formal public gatherings and buildings and seeing these taxidermy examples…And then, maybe, visiting one of your friends’ house and seeing his dad is a taxidermist enthusiast having “dead animals” strapped all over the walls. The thing is, no one told you what taxidermy is and how come we like to have them around.
“Taxidermy” is derived from the Greek words “taxis” and “derma”. “Taxis” means “arrangement”, while “derma” stands for “skin”. So, in a more literal translation, the word “taxidermy” means “arrangement of skin”.
Taxidermy is usually practised for obtaining hunting trophies or for educational purposes: natural museums have them to display certain rare animals or even species that had gone extinct. Taxidermy dates back to Egyptian culture. There are signs of embalmed animals buried with the Egyptian kings and queens. Still, embalming can only be considered as a distant cousin of taxidermy. The earliest methods of preservation of birds for natural history purposes have been written around 1748, in France. The first pioneers of taxidermy appeared in France, Germany, Denmark and England around that time. The 19th century found almost every town in the civilized world with a tannery business. Hunters began to bring their hunting trophies to these upholstery shops where they would be sewn up, staffed with rags and cotton and hanged on walls. The rest…you can follow it up to these days.
Now, it’s time to enjoy these 30 absolutely awful examples of taxidermy! Have a good time…if you can!
1. Dance like nobody is watching.
Probably this is not what the taxidermist intended, but he managed to pull out quite a wrong taxidermy here
2. “Dude! Lets hit the Gym, it’s neck day again!”.
There are actually two possibilities here: he had a facelift, or he went too much to the gym
3. “What’s that Lassie? Little Timmy fell down the Well and you’re too fabulous to care?!”
Am I the only one who’s not sure what kind of animal it’s supposed to be in this picture?
4. “Don’t worry Grandma, we’ll have a proper family photo when Charlie’s finished pissing about.”
Grandma is not happy, and the little kids are having a good time. Just a normal family gathering “beautifully” re-made by a taxidermist with a sense of humour too big for his job
5. “Draw me like one of your French Girls.”
Something happened here because I’m pretty sure the French girls do not look quite like this
6. “Sorry to disturb you guys but I think somebody took a shit on the carpet.”
Is it a wolf? Is it a dog? Is it a hyena? Is it a lion? What is it? Really, what is it? Not sure I’ve seen this face on other animal until now. Maybe it’s from outer space!
7. “Fuck the Police!”
Well, it looks like the taxidermist knows he did something not right, and he tried to improvise. What do you think about this example of taxidermy improvisation?
8. “Its too early, I’m phoning in sick.”
Or when you’re not sure who had one too many drinks: the taxidermist or the animal?
9. “Whos awesome? That right buddy, you are.”
He could very well play a cartoon character with great success.
10. The terrifying Molar Bear.
You can’t say this is not a scary bear. This is not only a scary, ferocious bear, it is also the ghost of a once very scary, ferocious bear.
11. “I’m a bird! JK, I’m a Cat, April Fools!!!”
A fallen angel, maybe?! I guess we’ll never know
12. What does the Fox say? My guess is he’d probably ask for a more ergonomic chair.
This is what happens when you do over-time and you’ve got a crappy office space
13. “What have you done to my Mittens Mr Taxidermist!”
The Mr Taxidermist had one thing to do and kinda’ failed. This is life, I guess.
14. “The poles might be melting but that don’t mean I ain’t gonna dance on em sister!”
Sexy bear mama? Is that a pole? Who knows what the taxidermist was thinking, but still, this one is awfully funny.
15. Here’s to Monday.
“So, you say it’s Monday and I need to get out and work my ass off until Friday?! Why?”
16. “Well hey there!”.
What do you think? Do you want to know more about this cougar?
17. “I’m never drinking again.”
I’m not sure who drank too much, the taxidermist or the fox? What do you say?
18. “Can I interest you guys in today’s specials? We have Fish bones served on a sock and a half eaten Apple.”
Yes, imagine you go to a fancy restaurant and you’ve got a waiter like this. Yeah, what do you do?
19. The face you make when your friend is talking to someone you don’t like.
“How dare you say you can’t go out with me because you’ve got to have coffee with your friend? I am your friend!”
20. “Its puff-puff- pass pal. Not Puff-tell your life story-puff, pass.”
Imagine you’ve got a hookah professor like this one! What would you do? Good thing you don’t really need a hookah professor in real life.
21. “Fetch me an Aspirin and a Bacon sandwich please love.”
When the taxidermist just messed your love one…
22. You know my swag, not my story.
Yeah, don’t judge him on his taxidermy, judge him on his story. It’s a hell of a story
23. Half Leopard, Half Footstool, all Terror!.
I don’t know why, but he looks more frightening than a leopard to me!
24. “Tell me the truth Foxy, did you eat my golf club!?”
“Of course I did. I just can’t say I had a stupid taxidermist!”
25. Is it a Bear? Is it a Wolf? Is it a Wardrobe? who knows…
“There is no right or wrong. Only what it is and what it isn’t”
26. Talented musician at work.
Happy musical family. Would you have them play at your wedding?
27. “Im feeling on top of the world!.”
Honey, you’re not on top of the world, you’re just on top of a globe, looking like a taxidermist’s wet dream
28. “Say Cheeeeese.”
No, better don’t say it!
29. “Mufasa, Mufasa, Mufasa!”
Lion King re-enacted! Creepy Lion King, actually.
30. The ferocious KoalaBeaver!
There is one part of me that sees cuteness here (yeah, weird) and another part of me that doesn’t know what to think or see. What do you say?
Captions & Imagessource