If you haven't had any nightmares lately, let me help you out a little bit. Let me introduce you to the very appropriately-named South American Goliath birdeater. The little guy is genuinely the size of a small puppy and because of its claws it makes a spine-chilling clicking sound as it scampers through its habitat.
Harvard etymologist Piotr Naskrecki recently had the pleasure of coming across a Goliath birdeater in Guyana.
At first Piotr thought it was a possum, but soon figured out what it was, this is what he had to say about his experience:
Every time I got too close to the birdeater it would do three things. First, the spider would start rubbing its hind legs against the hairy abdomen. "Oh, how cute!", I thought when I first saw this adorable behavior, until a cloud of urticating hair hit my eyeballs, and made me itch and cry for several days.
and if that wasn't enough...
If that wasn't enough, the arachnid would rear its front legs and open its enormous fangs, capable of puncturing a mouse's skull, and tried to jab me with the pointy implements.
If you've made it this far; bravo, here's some photos courtesy of Mr Nasrecki:
photos via Piotr Naskrecki